Please, take a seat… We need to have a, uh… little chat, so to say… Now, I’m going to ask you a question. I’m not trying to guilt you into any answer, or point fingers at you; I just want to know the truth. So, I don’t want you to get offended, because I believe we can discuss this like two civilized people. Ok… So my question is: did you lie on your resume? Because if you did, you will be in big trouble, missy. I just want you to understand a couple of things, though.
First of all, your generation has a completely warped sense of right and wrong. Did you know that roughly 64.3 percent of people lie about employment verification? Did you also know that 82 percent of organizations will fire you if they find out that you lied? And not only will your credibility as a possible employee diminish with each lie your poisoned mind creates, but your character as a human being will as well. It’s a big no-no.
Daddy doesn’t like it when his children lie now, sweetie. Daddy really doesn’t like it when they lie.
I’m still not blaming you. Daddy loves you, but I think you should go back over your resume, and just double check what you put on there. End of lecture. Real quick though… If I ever catch you lying on your resume, I will harm you… I’ll leave that to your imagination. Love you, honey. [via]