Time to put your tinfoil hats on, folks. There’s no doubt that everyone’s out to get you, so now is a better time than any to lay low for a bit.
Maybe you got bored between shows with your crude, fantasy-inspired metal band, and burned down some churches as part of your Neo-Nazi manifesto. Perhaps you started a flame war about the new Taylor Swift video on Neopets, and strangers across the country keep sending pizzas to your house with a vengeance. It could just be that you want a clean slate with social media because Aunt Sharon is leaving some of the lamest comments on your pictures. Whatever your reasons may be, I’m not here to judge; I’m here to help. It can be a bit tedious if you want to get really comprehensive about it, but the bulk of what you can do is actually pretty simple and painless.
In this day and age, a lot of our culture exists and derives from the Internet. There’s no shame in being sentimental about it, so queue up some music for the added hazy, melancholy theatrics, and welcome to your new low-key lifestyle!6.5k