Allergy season has been upon us for a while now. It happens every year and no one has done anything about it. Where is the cure for allergies? Where are the “I support allergies” ribbons on the back of cars? 55% of Americans have some sort of allergy–that is more than half of the population, people! I’ve had allergies since I was a child, and more than anything I would love to bury my face in a dog with no repercussions. We should take action and support allergy-prone humans like me with all our might. I want mass production of hairless pets–stat! Or maybe just government funded Zyrtec.
Allergies destroy anything that could bring joy to the people affected. You like dogs? Too bad, you’re allergic. Cats? Nope, you’ll be sneezing for days! Shellfish is delicious, too bad your face swells up when you eat it. But that’s okay, you can eat this peanut-butter and jelly sand–oops, sorry, guess you’re probably allergic to peanuts too!
One good thing about allergies is that generally they aren’t deadly if you take the proper precautions. So if you have allergies, enjoy your dog-less, fish-less, often even fruit-less half-life and go die from something else! *Achoo!*6.3k