We all know we could be drawn through a vortex into a fictional parallel universe at any moment, but will it end well?
Middle Earth is, tragically, not included in this flowchart, so I'll just have to tell you about my fate myself. When someone challenges me to a fight I run until I must stand to defend my friends, whereupon I smite the narrow bridge beneath mine enemy's feet and send it tumbling into the abyss. When it drags me down with it, I take my weapon, an ancient blade forged in Gondolin for the Goblin Wars, and keep smiting as the creature wreathes me in flame and shadow. When I at last defeat it and catch an eagle to my mate's place I have a beer because darn it, I need it. Needless to say I care deeply about Tibet, and I'm going to continue to wander this hither shore being evil's bugbear until I get my pension and retire to Valinor.
Since you obviously like LotR, you will perhaps enjoy this Lord of the Rings Analogy of Programming Languages.10.9k